Several years ago, I was working out with a couple of friends at a local gym when an older man (75+ years old) approached us and complained that we were monopolizing the bench press machine. His style of communicating was quite caustic and grumpy, and one of my friends remarked that when you get old you lose patience and become easily irritated. My other friend claimed that the older man was a former teacher in his elementary school and thirty years ago, he was the same caustic and grumpy guy.
While the aging process can cause certain cognitive changes, becoming grumpy is not one of them. In a New Press article which appeared several years ago, Dr. Michael Shain discussed cognitive changes which accompany normal aging. He stated that there are three general areas of cognition most vulnerable to changes with aging:
- processing speed, or how fast we can mentally do tasks
- executive functioning, which refers to a set of skills involved with the oversight and management of more basic cognitive processes – i.e., working memory like doing mental arithmetic, or the ability to switch between tasks without distraction
- episodic memory, which refers to one’s ability to remember recent events that occur in daily life
Some of the more typical cognitive changes that fall into the three general areas are: forgetting someone’s name, more difficulty expressing exact words in conversation compared with years earlier, and decreased ability to stay focused doing a task.
Let’s return to our “older grumpy guy” who was apparently just as grumpy thirty years before. We may be guilty of attributing false, negative characteristics to the aging process when, in reality, there are other explanations such as “personality.”
Neuroticism is the tendency to experience negative emotions, such as anger, anxiety or depression. It is sometimes referred to as emotional instability. According to Eysenck’s theory of personality, neuroticism is interlinked with low tolerance for stress. Those who score high in neuroticism are emotionally reactive and vulnerable to stress. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. Neuroticism is similar, but not identical to, being neurotic in the Freudian sense (i.e., neurosis).
So, if we happen to come upon an older person who demonstrates neurotic behaviors, let’s not automatically attribute them to the normal aging process. The problem with being older and neurotic is that slower functioning can raise the anxiety and stress levels of the individuals, thus creating a vicious cycle.
Too, if one is somewhat neurotic, when s/he reaches an age where there is some decline in memory and processing speed, there may be a tendency to react very strongly to these normal changes. Anxiety levels may rise as stress takes a greater toll on one’s well-being.
What Can Be Done? Understand that many of us suffer from neuroticism; it is largely a matter of degree, not whether you do or don’t. So…
- Attempt to manage the manifestations of neuroticism via meditation, yoga, exercise, more positive self-talk or even therapy.
- When you experience the normal cognitive declines associated with the aging process, attribute them to that, rather than to some personal inadequacy.
- Engage in mental exercises and /or experiences, i.e., adult classes, book clubs, discussion groups, card and other types of games that stimulate thinking and memorizing.
- Learn to relax and accept what you cannot change, but do something about that which can be changed.
