Spread “positive gossip.”
We tend to highlight the negative when we gossip about others, said Jamil Zaki, the author of “Hope for Cynics” and the director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab.
Instead, he said, do the opposite: Spread positive tidbits about someone. Maybe it’s a little-known but admirable fact about that person, he said, or a kind act you catch them in. And research suggests that spreading “positive gossip” may encourage others to do it too.
Hang out with younger people.
Margareta Magnusson, the nonagenarian author of “The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly,” offered a simple definition of happiness: being around young people.
Not only do they supply fresh perspectives, she said, but hearing about their plans and ideas “is a way to stay in tune with the young person you yourself were at some point.”
Magnusson suggested the following for older people: Just ask questions. Listen. Offer food. And don’t talk about your bad knee again, she said.
Do a “mini version” of your favorite vacation activity.
To prolong the happiness you felt on vacation, list what you loved most about the trip, said Sarah Pressman, a professor of psychological science at the University of California, Irvine. Say, daily naps, reading novels, or family dinners.
Then “try to find a mini version of that,” Pressman said. If you loved biking on vacation, she said, start with a weekly bike ride. If you loved exploring, meet a friend in a new town and wander like a tourist.
Cherish the everyday.
Suzanne B. O’Brien, a former hospice nurse, told me that many dying patients look back with longing on the more ordinary parts of their routines, like making pancakes on a Saturday morning.
An easy way to remind yourself to be grateful for those everyday moments, O’Brien added, is by shifting your perspective: “Instead of telling myself, ‘I have to go to the gym,’ I’ll say, ‘I get to go to the gym.’”
Savor life like an astronaut.
Mike Massimino, the author of “Moonshot: A NASA Astronaut’s Guide to Achieving the Impossible,” used to complain about the weather. Then he went to space.
“In space, there is no weather,” he told me. “No atmosphere. No seasons. Nothing.”
Now he takes time to savor what’s around him, bringing mindful attention to positive things in life. Even on the wettest, muggiest days, Massimino enjoys feeling the rain on his face. “It’s a reminder that the planet is alive,” he said, “and how lucky I am to be on this planet.”
Listen to Cher.
During an interview, Cher was asked for the best advice she ever received. She said, “If it doesn’t matter in five years, it doesn’t matter.”
Cher’s maxim helps to sort out quickly whether an issue should be bothering someone or not. Often the answer is that it actually doesn’t matter. Immediately, one’s heart is lighter.
Start a weird ritual.
Small rituals can add levity and meaning to daily life, said Michael Norton, a behavioral scientist and the author of “The Ritual Effect.”
You can create one around almost anything, he said.
His family does something they call “Happy Meatloaf to You.” It started when he had trouble getting his daughter to eat meatloaf.
“Meatloaf isn’t usually a very exciting dish,” he said, so his family puts candles on it and sings “Happy Meatloaf to You,” to the tune of “Happy Birthday to You.”
